Well, this sucks!

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate PCOS and the havoc it wreaks on my oversized body? I had a follow-up appointment with my amazing doctor today, and I’m so upset about my appointment that I can’t even focus on the parts of it that were positive.

The worst part was that I’ve gained 12 pounds since December. As a Seahawks fan, “12” is usually a good thing, but this is not how I want to be #12ing! I was extremely upset and my doctor tried to comfort me by telling me how the physiology of PCOS works against my body, not to give me an excuse, but to help me understand things. It didn’t help. I’m so devastated. I’m looking at joining Weight Watchers, reading books about metabolic syndrome, and how to exercise in order to lose weight. All of that may seem obvious to you, but for someone with two syndromes stacked against them, it is NOT easy. I’m not looking for easy, but I’m looking for achievable.

I gave up drinking soda and all carbonated beverages 59 days ago (6.1.15) and thought for sure that would help me lose weight. Who knows? Maybe I weighed more before I stopped drinking soda. My clothes all still fit, so could it be possible that they recorded my weight wrong last time? I don’t even know. We’re going to revisit in 3 months. He asked that I walk 1/4 of a mile 3 times a week and gradually build up. He’s also given me physical therapy at my request and thought it was a great idea. My body is wound so tightly sometimes that I just don’t want to move. Oh, and another thing thanks to PCOS…my vitamin D levels are “dangerously deficient. Yeah! So now I have to take 50,000 units of vitamin D for the next 8 weeks in order to bring it up to where it should be. Awesome.

The one thing he said to me that made me laugh was that, “When you walk out of here and tell friends or family that you’ve gained weight, they are all going to tell you how to lose weight, what worked for them, and if they can do it then so can you. Don’t listen to them. They have no idea how metabolic syndrome and PCOS affects your body, but I do.”  I know anyone offering advice will mean well, but please know that I’m super extra sensitive about all of this and your well intended comments could end up hurting my feelings. Trust me, I’m already beating myself up far more than you ever could anyway.

Before I wrap this up I will mention the good news, Metformin has been working and I am no longer pre-diabetic. I realize that there are much bigger things happening in the world today, but this hit me hard and really took the wind out of my sails. I’m sure I’ll get over it and focus on what I need to do quickly, but shit!


One thought on “Well, this sucks!

  1. peachy says:

    My dear friend,

    I’ve gained about 20 pounds since I last saw you. … I’ll join you on this crusade. When I’m done with house sitting, I’m joining a local women’s gym where I’ll be with three other women and a trainer who will meet with us three times a week and go over our fitness and nutrition. I’m hoping it’ll help me because I have no self discipline and I always do best when I have someone to impress. I hope we both find the system that works for us!


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