I got a lot of traffic on my blog last night after I went on a rant about their mom, the system, and my feelings. Then I went to bed. Thanks to those of you who just rolled with my bitching. So now let me tell you the rational side of things.
I get it. As best as I can, at least. She knows we’ve done well with her girls. She knows that even her older daughter loves us as she has asked to come stay with us on multiple occasions. She’s threatened. Insecure. Hurting because she did this and another family was so readily available to step in and make right what she wronged. This is her fault and she knows it.
Still, she deserves a fair chance, which she has been given, in our opinion too many times. We’ve been told and now it has been proven that the state of Washington is heavy on giving parents too many chances. We’ve seen this in other cases as we are part of many foster parenting support groups. It’s frustrating to watch good families that bend over backwards to be good people to kids, the parents, and the system only to get slapped in the face. Repeatedly.
She’s young. To me, that’s no excuse. Woman up. Take responsibility for your actions. Accept help. And be the person you fake being when you’re standing in front of the judge. I hope that this will all come in (very quick) time, not only for the kids but for her sake too. She’s likely had a tough life and she’s not making it any easier on herself to have a great future. The only person that can change that is her. I hope that bone of confidence grows strong in her spine because she’s going to need it.
I’ve meant what I’ve said about not being sure I can do this again. Mitch is not feeling the same way, although, we do both agree that a break is needed once the girls go home. To me, the system fails kids. They slip through the cracks. I get that the team of people on the case are overworked. Still, you hear these horror stories about kids in our community being victimized by a broken system. It hits an exposed nerve for me. They’ve already experienced neglect and the one place that they should be giving respite is letting them down. Does anyone else have a problem with this? Meanwhile, the foster parents (some, not all) are working their asses off to help these kids while other people take a back seat. We are often unsupported in a role that requires us to be a perfect parent (which isn’t even a thing!) without being given information and support. And they wonder why they lose good foster families. THIS IS WHY!
It’s all a shit show, okay? It’s not an ideal situation. It can be really fucked up. We’re happy for their mom. We know she loves them, will keep them clean, fed, and she will protect them. Those are all VERY essential to their well-being. We do wish she wasn’t so nasty with us. We can’t change that. Maybe some day she will.